


I’ve Built My Dreams ‘Round You

by al_ex_an_d_er_hamiltons



Series: Kiss Kiss [2]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Canon Compliant, Early Relationship, Fluff, Introspection, M/M, Patrick Brewer is Gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:27:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27549058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/al_ex_an_d_er_hamiltons/pseuds/al_ex_an_d_er_hamiltons
Summary: This- what he had with David, what they were doing- was different. He didn’t want these feelings- these all-encompassing, sometimes overwhelming feelings he had for David- to go quietly. He clung to them, let them envelop him like a well-fitting second skin.Or,Gimme a Kiss to Build a Dream Onfrom Patrick’s perspective.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Series: Kiss Kiss [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2013727
Comments: 14
Kudos: 121





	I’ve Built My Dreams ‘Round You

**Author's Note:**

> Someone suggested writing a companion to my last fic from Patrick’s POV, so I decided to give it a try. 
> 
> Song title from Fairytale of New York by the Pogues- although I personally prefer [this cover.](https://open.spotify.com/track/6OmZjfzzgt6mwfRZd1S7gY?si=1Pn1QUg1TaijBbtbdoApqw)

Kissing David was exhilarating. 

Patrick had never thought to describe kissing that way before, never had any reason to. 

Kissing had always been... _fine_. Like a fast food hamburger, or a store-brand cookie. Nothing special, but perfectly acceptable. Not only had it been unremarkable, but it had always had the weight of expectation, a prelude to something else. 

Kissing David, though, that was- well. It was an entire four-course meal. The main event. Filet mignon and crème brûlée and expensive champagne. Except instead of a rare indulgence on a special occasion, Patrick got to kiss David _every day_ , which he still couldn’t believe. And although there were other things- many, _many_ other things- Patrick wanted and planned to do with David, he was happy to linger in this early stage, luxuriate in the press of David’s lips and the swipe of his tongue and the gentle grip of his hands on Patrick’s hips. 

Patrick had worried he’d never find a way to make it happen. He thought maybe, sometimes David was flirting with him. When he made comments about his clean mouth or playfully told him that the particular shade of blue he was wearing brought out his eyes. But he was never sure- not sure enough, anyway, to make a move unprompted. 

So when David mentioned he had no plans for his birthday, Patrick envisioned finally making it happen. Maybe after dinner at the cafe, holding David’s hand as they walked to the car, leaning in to kiss him as he opened his door for him. 

But then Stevie showed up. Patrick was mortified. He’d misread the signs, made a fool of himself. He thought he’d dropped enough hints and- maybe be had. Maybe this was David’s subtle but firm way of saying “I know what you’re trying to do, and I’m not interested.” 

But then David had leaned in and kissed him. It felt like a miracle that first time, and somehow still did despite becoming part of their daily routine. 

Patrick didn’t realize that kissing a man- kissing _David Rose_ \- could be so different from kissing women. But it was, the experience so different and wonderfully foreign that it didn’t seem fair to put them in the same category. 

Sometimes when Patrick kissed David, he felt a bit like he was testing the waters. He’d be tentative, exploratory, trying to determine just how much pressure and pull it would take to make David groan. 

Other times he dove straight in, suddenly overwhelmed with need. He’d never felt that before, either- the intense, all-consuming desire for _more_. It was why he insisted on going slow; he knew if he didn’t, he’d free fall headfirst into things neither he nor David were emotionally ready for. 

From their first meeting, Patrick felt a little wild, a little loose and out of control. A little reckless. It was a side of himself he was enjoying immensely, even as he found it somewhat frightening. It was a strange feeling, stumbling upon parts of yourself you hadn’t previously known to exist. Some days he looked in the mirror and thought he looked different- something in his eyes, maybe, or the set of his jaw. The way he carried himself. Maybe, he thought, it wasn’t that he looked different. Maybe he just finally recognized the person looking back at him. 

Kissing David that first time- or rather, being kissed _by_ him- was revelatory. Patrick finally understood what people were talking about in all those romcoms and love songs. He was thunderstruck. 

The next few weeks were a lesson in what it felt like to endlessly _want_ \- to want for himself, to want David to feel seen and recognized and considered. 

Patrick was suddenly aware, for the first time, of certain things. How sometimes his mouth felt stagnant and fuzzy after his lunchtime tea, or how his lips were slightly chapped from his cool and breezy early morning hikes. He knew David had kissed like, a thousand people, and although he never felt like David was settling for him- he wasn’t _that_ self-conscious- his competitive nature drove him to ensure that David’s experiences with him weren’t just another notch in his bedpost. So he switched his tea to peppermint, upgraded his lip care regimen (read: actually started having a lip care regimen), avoided eating things that were particularly garlicky. 

To say David appreciated his efforts would be an understatement. He respected Patrick’s boundaries, never pushed him, but certainly responded in kind whenever Patrick decided he was ready to inch forward into new territory. 

When David murmured something about _forever_ one night, it did something to Patrick’s chest that he wasn’t expecting. He forced himself to make a joke, even as he gently mouthed at the hinge of David’s jaw, unwilling to let himself believe that David meant _forever_ in the way he wanted him to. It was too early for those kinds of thoughts, too soon. 

But when he told David he wanted to do everything with him, he meant it, beyond the physical implications. He wanted the sex and the laughter. He wanted the bad moods and the good moods, the arguments and the makeups, the heartaches and the happiness. He wanted to know how David handled having a head cold and how he liked his eggs cooked. Discovering the things David liked- and what Patrick liked _about_ him- felt a lot like discovering himself, and that journey was a meandering path he didn’t intend on abandoning anytime soon, if ever. 

The thought should scare him, would almost certainly scare David if he ever voiced it, but- well. Patrick had spent his entire life denying his feelings to himself, pushing them down and hoping they’d die off quietly, like a neglected houseplant left to shrivel in the dark. If he just ignored them, he had always hoped, they would go away. 

But this- what he had with David, what they were doing- was different. He didn’t want these feelings- these all-encompassing, sometimes overwhelming feelings he had for David- to go quietly. He clung to them, let them envelop him like a well-fitting second skin. 

He could picture it-that _forever_ \- in ways he’d never been able to with Rachel. Lazy early mornings where David would complain until Patrick brought him coffee. A lifetime of making David roll his eyes when Patrick ordered mozzarella sticks on his birthday. Endless days of push and pull, getting under David’s skin and knowing just went to smooth it over. 

So when David said _forever_ and then looked at him, wide-eyed and startled, Patrick threw him a lifeline, brushed it off and soothed him. He was looking forward to that, too- learning how to read David’s expressions and gestures, the roll of his shoulders and the curl of his lip. 

He wanted it all, he assured David, and he meant it. He wanted everything. 


End file.
